


Don't Want You to Worry

by WakeUpDreaming



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Floor Sex, M/M, Not at the same time, Panic Attacks, Steve needs to communicate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-25
Updated: 2014-08-25
Packaged: 2018-02-14 14:30:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2195298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WakeUpDreaming/pseuds/WakeUpDreaming
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky finds out that Steve's understanding of his panic attacks is because Steve has them too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Want You to Worry

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt "weight of the world."

Steve's rocking back and forth, his hands tugging at his hair as sobs wrack his body. It's a sight Bucky hates - something that reminds him agonizingly of Steve's asthma attacks, but it's different.

Steve calls them panic attacks when Bucky has them, but apparently he wasn't speaking from a theoretical perspective. Steve's been suffering too.

Bucky darts toward Steve, falling to the ground in front of him as he says, "Steve, look at me, I'm here, you're here. You're safe." He searches his brain for what calms him down when Steve finds him like this. "I've got you."

Steve sucks in a ragged gasp as he looks up, tears streaming down his face as he shakes and tugs at his hair. "Bucky?" he gasps. 

"I'm here," says Bucky, and he's about to say something more, but Steve breaks and reaches for him, shakily touching his face.

"You're here," he sobs, "you're here." The relief spreads across his face so quickly and it changes everything about him. It's an open, honest expression.

And Bucky can't keep himself from pulling Steve into his chest, and Steve slumps against him, curling into Bucky's lap, the sobs less violent, but just as pained.

"You're real," says Steve into Bucky's shoulder. "I thought - I thought they made me believe you were back when you weren't."

"I'm here," says Bucky, pulling Steve to see his eyes. "Look at me, okay?"

Steve's blue eyes are blown wide and full of fear, but he's searching Bucky's face like he can't get enough. "I was so scared," he gasps.

"Hey," says Bucky, brushing a few tears away with his thumb, "I know how that feels. You should come to me when this happens, okay?"

Steve shakes his head. "I don't want you to worry."

"I'm always going to worry about you," says Bucky, kissing Steve on the forehead. "And you'll always worry about me. But that's no reason for you to carry the weight of it all on your shoulders. You're allowed to break sometimes." He moves, cupping Steve's cheek, and Steve leans into Bucky's touch. "And I'm here to put you back together."

Steve searches Bucky's face. "I'm sorry."

"Nope, nope, nope," says Bucky, shaking his head. "If you say I can't apologize for this, then you can't either."

Steve sighs, a smile finally wiping the horror off Steve's face. "Okay," he says, nodding, and Bucky subtly takes his pulse. It's slowed now, feels normal.

Bucky leans in and kisses Steve gently, letting Steve control it, but it's not long before Steve's pulling him closer and into his lap. Bucky straddles Steve's hips, swallowing the desperate whimpers coming from Steve's mouth.

"Hey, come on, it's okay," Bucky sighs against Steve's mouth. "We don't have to right now, if you don't want to."

"Want to," Steve growls against Bucky's throat, "want to feel you're real."

Bucky swallows as Steve's hands crawl up his back and pull his shirt off.

"You sure?"

Steve rocks his hips up against Bucky's, biting his lip as he nods. "So sure."

"Right here?" Bucky asks, gasping as Steve runs his hands up Bucky's chest to pull him down for another kiss. "On the floor?"

Steve nods, pulling Bucky down on top of him. "We've never done it on the floor before."

Bucky shrugs and kisses Steve, feeling Steve's warm body writhe against him as they move, clothes getting thrown around as multiple body parts get rug burn for the best reason ever, and Bucky realizes Steve hadn't shaved that day when the beard burn on his chest starts to smart.

"Your face is prickly," Bucky laughs as Steve kisses along his thigh.

"You weren't complaining earlier when I was kissing you,” Steve murmurs.

Bucky’s about to retort, but Steve licks up his cock and takes it into his mouth, and all thought falls from Bucky’s brain.

They slide together not too long afterward, Bucky only half able to whimper Steve’s name as he settles on Steve’s lap, and the look of adoration of Steve’s face is something he’ll never get used to.

The way Steve murmurs his name, holds him close, moves with such purpose against him, makes Bucky want to cry in relief, because he never imagined he’d ever get this again.

“You can’t possibly be distracted right now,” Steve laughs, pushing his hips up in a way that he brushes against something that makes Bucky flare up inside. “I thought I was doing a good job.”

Bucky braces himself with his hands on Steve’s chest, pressing him to the floor. “I was thinking about you,” he says, moving a little more quickly, “does that make it better?”

“I don’t know,” says Steve, “I kind of like it when you’re a babbling mess.”

Bucky leans down and presses his lips to Steve’s hard, and Steve kisses him back. “I like you all the time.”

“Oh, shut up,” Steve laughs, and Bucky suddenly realizes why Steve can’t stop smiling after Bucky’s coming down from a panic attack.

Because there’s a moment in the attack, such a short, horrifying moment, that worries if they’ll ever come back or be okay again.

And when you see that they are getting to be okay again? It’s amazing to hear that laugh again.

“You’re thinking again,” says Steve, but before Bucky can respond, Steve’s got a hand on his back and one under his ass, and he picks him up, pushing him against the wall as he stands. “I’ll fix that.”

And Steve does. He REALLY does.


End file.
